Let's assume you've just come out of a long-term relationship and skip to the part where you're feeling lonely, confused and void. Belonging to this generation, you seek instant solace and want to look for the speediest remedy to cure your heartache. The first thing you do? You seek comfort in the arms of someone new. The classic "shoulder to cry on" surfaces and before you know it, you're in a new relationship.
Since everything happened so soon, you've clearly not thought this through and neither have you had much time to weigh the pros and cons. All you know is that it's making you feel good. It's distracting you from the pain and it's temporarily sedating. Now, contrary to popular belief and the quote above, let's talk about the cons of being involved in such a relationship.
Studies suggest that more often than not, rebounds are the worst kind of relationships to be in and rarely ever work out in the long run. Just like a drug, it's only a temporary fix and will only do you more harm. One would ask why we, as humans, willingly put ourselves through this even though we know it might not be good for us. Well, the fact remains that we need love. We need to feel wanted and we're scared of feeling lonely. We avoid addressing important questions like "Why did this happen?
If you're still not convinced, here are 6 reasons why such a relationship is a huge NO-NO:. No time to introspect. Every failed relationship has something to teach us. Since most of the time both you and your partner are instrumental in the failed relationship, it is always healthy to take some time out to introspect and analyse where you went wrong.
Anonymous July 29th, am. There's nothing saying that a rebound relationship doesn't work. Whether any relationship works or not is dependent on both partners committing to the relationship and to each other. Relationships can start as 'rebound' type relationships but if both partners truly believe there is something between them then it won't matter how the relationship began. In saying that, however, there are times that rebound relationships are only rebound relationships.
To make sure you aren't simply a rebound and that there is something more, you must be aware of how your partner truly feels and be aware of how you feel towards them. It doesn't. It won't. And it will never. Maybe to some, it works. But it will take a lot of sacrifices and risks to make it work for all of you, involved or not. Anonymous September 8th, pm. Any relationship can work as long as both parties are willing to do whatever it takes to make things right.
Anonymous March 29th, pm. If you just want sex to forget about your ex, it should be pretty easy. But some people can't help but get feelings. So we just have to hope for the best, I guess. You never know until you actually try. Sometimes couples need to reflect on themselves so they can be better for one another. They possibly work if the couple broke up over something minor and not something major as a mutually dislike of each other's personalities.
I have seen them work but only occasionally. It's wise to try avoid them, as your emotional state may be different to you. Of course they could work, because theoretically the two people involved might end up being perfect for each other. But it isn't a good idea to take the risk. By definition, a rebound relationship is not entered into because of the desire of the people for each other, or because of any attachment they have. Hence, it is like playing Russian roulette.
You might end up getting somebody you love, or you might end up getting somebody you don't love, and risk having them be attached to you and getting them hurt. Also, you might end up getting attached to them, and you may end up being hurt when they don't feel the same way.
After a break-up, the best thing to do is to fully get over the need to still be with your ex partner if it is definite that they will never come back. Then go looking for new relationships. At the moment, your ex is the enemy. The attraction you feel towards your rebound is temporary.
You just broke up and the last thing you want is to be alone. Gather your friends around you instead. Are you mentally comparing your rebound to your ex? Do you keep talking about him and thinking about him? Rebounds are quick relief from the heartache. You need time to heal. If the breakup was particularly hard, you need time to heal. Flings are fine; serious feelings are bad.
You need to let yourself heal. Rebound relationships move too fast. Moving too fast is a sure fire way to burn out a relationship quickly. Do you even know his last name yet?
Rebounds are meant to be a distraction. Think of them like your favorite drink — you get a buzz, you feel good for a little while and escape reality. Do you feel you may be acting out of hurt or anger? What do I want? Again, this can be a perplexing decision-making process, but just thinking about it may begin to help you move towards an answer. Is there a direction you want to head in next? What would I say to someone in my position? Sometimes it can be useful to step outside yourself and consider things in a more objective fashion.
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